Interview with Holden, AKA TheBulbaBoy

Tess: Good morning, and welcome to the Creator Spotlight — an initiative from the team at AbleToPlay where we highlight amazing content creators in our accessible gaming community. Today, we have Holden, also known as TheBulbaBoy, with us!

Holden, thank you for being here today and sharing your story with us. To start things off, could you tell us about yourself and your journey as a content creator?

Holden: Hello! My name is Holden or Bulba, and I use He/They pronouns. You can find me streaming at TheBulbaBoy!

The best way to describe myself is: "I'm just a lil’ guy!" I'm a transgender and neurodivergent streamer from Upstate New York who loves playing Nintendo games, and highlighting new games on the indie scene.

My community is very generous, and we have collectively raised money over the past five years of content creation for various causes such as Equality Texas, Autistic Self Advocacy Network, It Gets Better, various mutual aid requests, and more!

So, how did I get into content creation? During 2020 I was recovering from surgery and bored out of my mind, I loved watching Twitch streams and friends mentioned how impeccable my comedic timing is, so I decided to give it a whirl. I haven't looked back since and will be reaching my sixth year of streaming this November! My life has changed for the better, I've met such amazing people during my journey, and I'm looking forward to several more years of making people laugh and smile.

Tess: Huge congratulations on reaching six years of streaming! That’s a major milestone! I also loved how you talked about fundraising for LGBTQIA+ and disabled charities, and briefly touched on your neurodiversity. Can you share more about that with us, and how you got involved with accessibility?

Holden: Back when I was in college, I was very active in learning about disability and joined a few initiatives to hold my college administration responsible for upholding the ADA. I never viewed myself as disabled until I learned more about invisible disabilities. Just because I looked fine and was doing fine, didn't mean I was fine.

After constant burnout, stress, and pain did I realize I was disabled. I have ADHD and I'm also on the autistic spectrum. I've also had joint pain and migraines since I was a teenager.

Once I met other streamers who helped me realize I was — in fact, disabled — I felt validated in knowing I'm still part of the community, even if I appeared to be of lower support needs than others. I use this power to stand up for others — especially through fundraising, advocacy, and storytelling. I've helped many friends get the support they didn't realize they needed because, they too, were of the belief that they didn't need any support until it was too late. I even find myself advocating for my coworkers and folks in my neighborhood as well.

The one thing that I especially tell people — the one minority that ANYONE can become is disabled. And that's true; you can become disabled at any point in your life. But that doesn't mean you have to give up what you love.

Tess: I couldn’t agree more with what you said, and you put it spectacularly! Even if you’re not disabled now, disability can happen at any time. Most people don’t even think of glasses as a disability aid. I’ll also add that many with invisible disabilities have through a similar experience to what you described — they don’t realize they’re disabled until someone else shares their story. Then, suddenly, it’s a lightbulb moment. That’s why sharing experiences online is crucial. You never know how many lightbulbs are quietly turning on for others. Can you share how ADHD, autism, and migraines have impacted your gaming experience?

Holden: Because of my ADHD, I often have bouts of memory loss. For example, there's many games from my teens and early twenties that I don't remember anything from — except that I played them.

While the series is currently on hiatus, I do have a series on my streams called Memory Loss Monday, where I replay games I've played before, but don't remember much about. I've played games like Pokémon X and BioShock during college, but forgot about them because of burnout, trauma, and ADHD. I also like to challenge myself to games that sharpen my brain, and love doing puzzles to help with memory loss. It's nice to look back at my VODs as well so if I forget my playthrough, I can rewatch myself experiencing it all over again!

As mentioned previously, I have migraines and joint pain. I had a formative moment of mentioning in a Reddit comment that I wear compression gloves when gaming to ease the pain. Another user sent me a DM invite to an age thirty-plus gamers’ community, and I instantly felt like an imposter. I couldn't let these thirty-plus gamers know that I'm twenty-nine! God forbid!

Another problem I have is that many first person games cause nausea and dizziness for me. I tried to enjoy Minecraft as a teen and once got so dizzy I had swirling vestibular migraines for several days. Normally third-person games don't bother me, but if the FOV, camera depth, rendering speed, and bobbing cannot be customized, it may send me into another dizzy spell.

When Donkey Kong Bananza came out, I got very nauseous playing it. It made me sad because that game is so much fun. I wore a pair of anti-nausea goggles and took dramamine and it still didn't help. I still managed to get through to the point of 100%-ing the game, but it shouldn't have come at the cost of spending several hour long breaks laying down in a dark room.

Tess: [Laughing.] The thirty-year-olds would’ve come at’cha with the pitchforks for sure! Only twenty-nine! There’s never a dearth of entertainment on Reddit of all places, but I love that there’s a space dedicated for millennial gamers. Maybe next year, right? As a content creator who interacts with the disability community — even in places like Reddit, as funny as that is — what do you hope people take away from gaming?

Holden: I hope that others can find games that are equally stimulating as they are healing. This can mean different things for different people — for example, I love picross or nonograms as a way to wind down at the end of the day. I know those style games would be a nightmare for folks with dyscalculia. Or if folks have dyslexia, I don't recommend visual novels to them, unless I know a particular novel allows you to change the font to Open Dyslexic font.

More than anything, I'm hoping this movement of disabled gamers being under the spotlight will encourage developers, especially big name developers, to be aware and make their games more accessible. I shouldn't have to mod a game to remove camera bobbing.

And many companies need to develop accessible controllers; like, Sony has the Access Controller, which is a wheel-shaped controller that allows the user to adapt the buttons to any button they wish. This allows the user to even play with their feet if they need! And I hope this technology stays normalized, because who knows — maybe my wrist and hand joint pain would progress so far that I may need one of these controllers some day.

I also wish that VR would become more accessible. There are so many VR games I would love to play without getting immense nausea and I hope the industry keeps progressing in quality, so folks don't get nausea, and so people with thick glasses can also wear a headset.

Tess: We don’t talk enough about how modding — and by extension, ”cheating” — are ways gamers have to get around accessibility barriers and pain points; because, you’re right, you shouldn’t have to go the extra step to find a mod that disables camera bobbing to play comfortably. And those options aren’t as readily available to non-PC gamers, as you’ve pointed out with Donkey Kong Bananza. So, with that in mind, what do you feel is missing from the conversation around accessible gaming—both in developer circles and in the community?

Holden: Just as I said in the previous question, most of our conversations on gaming while disabled is about holding the developers accountable. There is no reason that a big name company can't be held accountable for not making their games accessible. If indie devs with small budgets can find ways to make their games accessible, that doesn't mean a big budget company cannot.

I think about this interview I watched once about a vision-impaired gamer upset he couldn't play Kingdom Hearts 3 because it was much darker than the other two games, and even after adjusting the lighting, it still wasn't bright enough. It's a shame to have to give up on your favorite games because you can’t customize it in a way that is conducive to you.

Tess: It’s so frustrating to have to give up on a game you know you’ll love — especially when you discover it’s inaccessible after spending $60 on it. That’s exactly why AbleToPlay exists — we want to give gamers as much information possible upfront, and for free — so you’re not wasting a single penny on an inaccessible game. With that in mind, can you share with us a game you love that’s accessible to you? And what did they do well in terms of accessibility?

Holden: One of my favorite accessible games is Arcade Spirits and others: Arcade Spirits The New Challengers, Penny Larceny Gig Economy Supervillain, and Shadow Over Cyberspace — from the same developer, Fiction Factory Games. The developer is disabled and tries to make every game accessible with things like: the ability to remove glitch and static particle effects for the photosensitive, change the font to Open Dyslexic or other fonts, and the entire game to be played through audio cues and narration if the player is vision-impaired or blind. With the the developer being disabled himself, many of the characters in his games, including protagonists, are disabled! Honest and candid conversations are an always with these characters, and in a tactful way.

And while I can't pinpoint a specific game, I really appreciate when games allow you to change the controls to a toggle instead of having to hold down a button the entire time; as an example, if I'm playing a game that requires holding down the shoulder buttons for a long time, it starts to hurt. But if I can just press the shoulder button once to toggle the command, and press it again to turn it off, that is super helpful!

Tess: I feel that! My hands are not what they used to be either, so I get worn out quickly when there’s a lot of button-holding or mashing. It’s a great accessibility option many players benefit from! Are there any games you’re playing right now that really stand out for their accessibility?

Holden: While I'm not playing any standouts at the moment, I will eventually play Another Crab's Treasure soon, and I absolutely love the level of care the developers put into making the game accessible. Because this game is a Souls-like, many are turned off by how hard the games are. Another Crab's Treasure allows pausing — which Dark Souls does not. It also has difficulty, dodging options, camera assist, and a "give Kril a gun” mode that makes him practically invincible if you’re only focused on the story. I love when games have a story-mode. I also loved that Another Crab’s Treasure has a vivid color pallet, so any moves you need to make are very obvious with audio cues, and high visual contrast.

I also recently played Romancelvania and that game has a story-mode option in case you don't want to play with combat.

Tess: I have to agree — Another Crab’s Treasure gets an upvote from me, too! It’s truly an enjoyable game that makes accessibility both comedic and approachable. Well, Holden, we are out of time! Thank you again for joining us today for this Creator Spotlight. For our final question: where can people connect with you?

Holden: You can connect with me on Twitch and BlueSky under @thebulbaboy. I also have other ways to connect here at my linktr.ee, including my new YouTube channel, Ko-fi, and Discord!

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